What to say
Keep condolences simple and centered on the person grieving. You might share a kind memory or say that you are sorry for their loss. Avoid explanations, comparisons, or pressure to respond.
At a visitation or service
Arrive on time, silence devices, and follow the lead of family, clergy, or staff. Clothing should be respectful of the setting and any faith or cultural guidance; it does not always need to be black.
- Sign the register if one is provided
- Allow close family privacy when needed
- Ask before taking photographs or posting online
- Follow instructions during religious or military rites
Ways to help afterward
Grief continues after public gatherings end. Specific, practical offers are easier to accept than asking the family to identify what they need.
- Bring a meal on an agreed day
- Help with errands, pets, or transportation
- Send a card or memory weeks later
- Remember significant dates without expecting a reply